Grief Verifies Affection
October 31st, 2005 Mike
Grief is a human emotion that arises from the loss of objects of affection. When people lose someone or something that is dear to them, they grieve. Awkward as it often is, the opposite is also true. If someone or something is lost that was not held dear, then grief is also absent.
Many years ago I held a memorial service in the backyard for a deceased goldfish. The principal mourner at that service was a five-year-old girl who wept profusely over the dead fish. The child’s expressions of grief were touching indicators of her deep affection. I was also moved, by the little girl’s sincere feelings, not by the death of the goldfish necessarily.
Like most of us, I have on occasion attended funerals and burial services for deceased people. Funerals are very emotional events. The attendees are generally bereaved. The mourners express their loss, and the love they felt and still feel for the deceased, through eulogies, prayers, hymns, tears, and flowers. These outward signs of grief confirm their affections.
Trained and talented thespians (and politicians) can fake emotions, including grief, but most of the rest of us cannot. Sincere emotions well up unbidden and unconcealed. You can’t hide your true feelings, not well and not for long, anyway.
Not everybody has deep affections for forests. Why should they? There are a million other things in this world to place affections upon, and people vary in their predilections. Targets of affection include ice cream, seashores, puppies, baseball, weblogs, kittens, golf, knitting, politics, trout-filled lakes, flower gardens, five-foot surf, six-point bucks, antiques, the latest gadgets, and a lot more, not to mention each other. Most people would say they have positive feelings towards forests, but not consuming feelings. It would be weird if everybody was passionate about forests. I, for one, would feel cramped and crowded. I would probably take up bowling or some other obscure passion, just for the breathing room.
Some people, not everybody thankfully, do hold deep affections for forests. I suffer from this malady, myself, and I seek the company of others who share my disease. It’s been great for me, and still is, to have passions and deep feelings for forests, and to share those with fellow forest aficionados. I never fault expressions of affection for forests, even if those expressions are child-like or uninformed. If you like forests, for any reason, then you get a thumbs-up from me.
In my forest journeys I have encountered a strange phenomenon: false affection for forests. I am absolutely convinced that some people who express feelings for forests are faking it. They say they like forests, but they really don’t.
The tell-tale sure sign of pseudo-affection is the way fakers react when a forest is catastrophically destroyed by fire. True forest aficionados are grief-stricken, fakers feel nothing. If you ever wonder who it is that really cares about forests, look for expressions of grief. Look for the forest memorials, the eulogies, the prayers, the hymns, the tears and the flowers. If grief is absent when the forest is lost, then real affection was never there in the first place. There is nothing immoral about indifference to forests. However, faking affection for forests when none exists, for wholly self-serving reasons that have nothing to do with forests, now that’s immoral.
Grief verifies affection. That’s my litmus test, anyway.

















